PRE-SEASON FRIENDLY
Att: N/A
SUTTON UNITED – 1 [Palmer]
CHELSEA XI – 2 [Cole. Alexidze]
Don’t you just bloody hate that?? Just as you’re halfway through trying to write up an entertaining (for a friendly anyway!) match report and Mr Gates finest piece of Word Processing software goes tits up and loses the fucking lot. Bastard.
Cue a particular copy of Mr Gates finest piece of Word Processing software and the PC it is installed on being reduced to a million assorted fragments. Oh the joys of modern plastic explosives.
But enough of me and my technological difficulties whilst trying to compose this little effort on my companies time. On to the footy stuff.
Chelsea return to GGL with almost the same side that showed up for our Floodlights game back in May. That particular meeting turned out to be something of a cracker. A 3-3 draw with some great attacking footy from both sides and a virtuoso performance from Danny Bolt. Sadly for Dan, things didn’t quite work out and despite his best attempts to impress the Stamford Bridge bods, he’s now slumming it at Queensmeadow, Kingston. Never mind, we’re sure his run of bad luck won’t last long and he’ll find a decent team soon.
Amusingly, we’re told before the game that one Eddie Akamouha will be appearing for us in the 2nd half. Yep, Eddie “K’s through and through” Akamouah (If you listen to the Hoopy twats) preparing to pull on a U’s shirt. Wonder how they’ll react to that news.
The U’s field a side which we’re now sure is pretty damn close to what’s going to be running around & snatching a thrilling 0-0 opening day draw (probably) at Braintree a week on Saturday. Dunn between the sticks, with Taylor, Arkwright, Palmer and Brooker at the back. McCormack, the returning Honey, and er…..a couple of others in midfield (Still no sodding decent PA yet) and Fowler with Haworth up front.
The opening 5 minutes as per normal, sees the pro lads go right at the U’s defence. They get through once and Dunn is smartly off his line to save with his legs. Then, Sutton switch on and start to play some smart football.
Our first real chance drops to McCormack, turning the full back inside out, he pulls the ball back for Fowler. Matty can’t quite make it and the ball finds it’s way back to the little winger. This time, he tries a slightly audacious flick with the outside of his boot, but the ‘keeper has recovered sufficiently to save. Soon after, a McCormack corner from the right causes havoc in the Chelsea box. With their ‘keeper flapping like a big seal, Honey powers a low shot inches wide from 8 yards out.
Chelsea shrug off their jittery few minutes and hit back with a good move through midfield which forces Dunn to tip a stinging 20-odd yard drive over the bar.
The U’s front men are causing their fair share of problems meanwhile. With Matt Fowler in particular having a cracking game, with some mazy little runs and sharp turns driving the Blues defenders nuts. One wonderful turn and bit of trickery sends him to the byeline. He floats a lovely cross over to the back post and with Pidgely stood flapping again, Haworth stretches to connect only to get under the ball and send his header a gnats chuff over the bar. Feck! Then Dunn does well to hold a curling drive from the edge of the box at the other end.
The two sides exchange more blows before half time, but go in level. No goals maybe, but definately as entertaining as the previous encounter!
A sure sign of things to come is when the U’s first half line up wanders down to the Collingwood end to ‘warm down’ rather than down the tunnel for a cup of tea and a shower. That’ll be 11 subs at half time then JR?
Sutton include recent triallists Michael Mison (ex-Rushden), Martini, Jon Palmer, that Timothy bloke and of course the aforementioned Akamouah mixed in with Dante Aligheri, Nick Williams and a few others. Chelsea, meanwhile, come out for the second half having been slightly more conservative with the substitutions and made 2 at most. A scrappy first 10 minutes or so follows as the U’s new line up unsurprisingly fails to click immediately. It’s these 10 minutes that cost sutton the match.
A couple of smart saves by Martini prevents an immediate goal, but about 5 minutes or so in Cole gets behind a hugely out of position Aligheri and runs onto a great through ball. He controls and sends a wonderful chip over Chuck and into the top far corner. 1-0. Pants. This sets off the 15 year old Chelsea twats (probably the ones who couldn’t spell ‘Chelsea’ in a song on their last visit!) into a chorus of ‘Carefree’. Yawn.
Less than a minute later, Sutton lose posession in midfield, Cole again exploits the acres of space Dante has once again left and from the byeline plants a cross onto the forehead of an unmarked Alexsidze to nut past a stranded Martini. Flaming fuckcakes.
A couple of minutes later and Dante continues to do his chances no good at all by again conceding possession which ends up with Chuck making a low fingertip save from Cole.
Somehow the U’s weather what’s left of the storm and finally start to get their arses in gear. Mison, up front, gets behind the Chelsea defence and drills a low ball across the box which Jon Palmer slides in for, but just can’t make contact with. Palmer is involved again soon after when another cross from the right is met with a thunderous header 8 yards out which forces Pidgely into a good reaction save. Probably the only thing he actually did right all night as his kicking was bollocks and he flapped at almost every set piece we aimed his way!
From the resulting corner, matey of course gets nowhere near the ball again and Palmer forces it over the line at the back post. C’mon lads, get a draw at least!
Akamouah is now getting into his stride, finding space and teasing the Chelsea defenders. He gets one good chance but his shot is fumbled away by the dodgy ‘keeper. Then with time running out, probably the U’s best move of the match almost produces the equaliser our overall effort deserved. Sweeping through midfield, the ball works it’s way to Williams (I think!) who slides the ball past Pidgely only to see the effort ping back off the base of the post. Rats.
So, all in all another entertaining night provided by the Stamford Bridge lads. I thought we looked good in both halves and despite that really dodgy 10 minutes at the start of the 2nd 45 minutes when all the changes took time to settle the performance put in was more than satisfactory.
So, onto Croydon Ath tomorrow and then Tooting thursday (Unable to attend either, so no reports. Sorry!) and then Hayes at Banstead on saturday before the real action starts. To be honest, if we can keep hold of players like Mison, Drewett, Akamouah, Martini, Corbett etc we could have one hell of a strong squad.
Bugger me. Did I really just say that??