So, the last of the PSFs. And it was back to me to cover it, seeing as Totts had been on duty during the week to do the Bobbins two bob 3G pitch. So I said to the EIC I’d cover the last game before the season gets under way, I’m now somewhat regretting that […]
You know that pre-season is grinding its way to a welcome conclusion when your occasional columnist is lumped with doing the blog twice in a couple of weeks. Attempts by the editorial board to feed me some old horseshit about being “the Fred Gee pitch specialist” and “the right man for the job” were just […]
It’s that time of year again when the football season is once more upon us for the next 9 odd months or something like that. And well, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these write up things (as Duke reminds me every bleedin’ day of my life). Seeing as I missed most […]
Valentines morning in the Totter household. “Do you fancy going to Sutton United this afternoon sweetheart?” Mrs Totts; “Er, why?.” “Because its free for the ladies, and you’re worth it.” Mrs Totts; “Fuck right off.” Who said romance was dead? After a brief and pointless conversation with militant feminist daughter number 2 about whether Sutton’s […]
Its 12.15pm on Boxing Day and I am stationery on the M25 wondering just what the fuck has gone wrong with my life. Why I chose to go to Ruislip where Wealdstone play via the London Orbital motorway is down to one thing and one thing only, the voices in my head. They haven’t quite […]
When some Herbert sends you a message on a Friday morning asking if you’d fancy doing the match day blog think long and hard before you reply. If you don’t then you too may end up opening a bottle of brandy at 9am on a Sunday morning, staring at a blank sheet of paper and […]
Another birthday recently came and went taking me just a few years away from the day when I am able to negotiate concessionary entrance with MarkN , the desert-booted guardian of turnstile A and custodian of the guitars when I have a gig straight after a home fixture. In fact I still have the unrequited […]
Having witnessed history with Gibraltar’s first ever competitive match, the gang now find themselves in the car park of the Estadio Algarve. It’s 40km to Albufeira, they’ve got almost a full tank of gas, several packs of cigarettes, it’s dark and some of them are wearing sunglasses. Hit it Juan. With the game we came […]
Read More… from From Lithuania with Love (I sold my soul) – Drinking Abroad
“Good morning, I’m from Sutton United Football Club.” That’s my new calling card as I signed up for accordion virtuoso AB’s roving sales force for the club and took to the streets of The People’s Republic of West Sutton on Thursday on my trusty old bike to distribute propaganda on behalf of the Great Leader […]
Have you ever been kicked in the bollocks? Have you ever fallen off your bike and smashed your crown jewels on the handle bars as you went over? Have you ever had a football fired at your knackers at 90 mph, and it’s smashed you so hard you fall to the ground in agony and […]
