Stuffed Crust

Pizza Cup is a competition despised by most hardcore fans – yet dear to us at Sutton after our first and only participation to it led us all the way to a Wembley final. So, on a quiet Tuesday evening, a trip to Leyton for a group stage game is not the most appealing, but […]

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Birthday Boy

You know that line in the Who’s “My Generation” – I hope I die before I get old? When you slide casually into your seventh decade without much fuss you tend to think let’s not be too hasty here lads, let’s have a cup of splosh and a Rich Tea in front of the fire […]

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D4 Damage

Back once again, it’s the Pizza Cup Master! If that means absolutely nothing to you, then this may help. Boy are you are in for a treat!* Now, I am obviously well aware of many people’s reluctance to embrace this competition, and I do fully understand them; personally, I am not a fan of the […]

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Final Rehearsal

So it’s all come to this. The final preparations for our second season in the football league wouldn’t have been complete without a good ol’ barmy with Bromley. As per every season, there have been changes. Old friends have left, new lads have arrived. What’s most important though, particularly during these fitness-testing warm ups, is […]

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Love Fifteen

So here is my first attempt at covering a Sutton game for the famous Gandermonium blog, the pre-season friendly against Woking. Of course, I have studied with a lot of attention the style of the original writings from this place and discovered that they would most necessarily involve a detailed description of the travel needed […]

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Enough Beetroot?

The last time I was at Havant we were at the arse end of the Vanarama South league and my Dad still had some colour in his hair – but having only started to follow Sutton the season previous the hair had been slowly going greyer with every loss on the record. Yet with every […]

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Two’s Company

We’re back. Anyone else think it’s about a month too soon, a lifetime even? As regular readers will deduce, this is a guest appearance so no lurid tales of ridiculous levels of alcohol intake, no caustic remarks about other members of the crew but in keeping with this establishment’s ethos, not much about a football […]

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Viral Tik Toks

“No blog?? On top of no season review? Sacrilege! I’ll rectify that”, I say to myself as I scroll through Twitter, slouched into the sofa, beer in hand heart just about recovering from the night’s events. “Another thriller at Meadowbank?” I hear you cry. Alas, no. Sleepy Jr. has simply just given me a mild […]

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Toilet Tennis

Well now me old chinchillas. Been a while since I winged your a love letter from the South Coast but this close to Valentine’s Day it’s nice to be rubbing up against you again in the football blogging equivalent of the Clouseaus Erection Session. Too much? I haven’t even started with you yet my mates. […]

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