Where is Mein Handy?

I don’t know how some of those Division One supporters do it, as going to a match on the Lords day is a very strange experience. It probably didn’t help getting right on it after watching the Reserves up at Ice Station Banstead the day before. Some of that trip will no doubt be revealed in […]

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A Very Reserved Saturday

Like most football fans, we here at the ‘monium of Gander (with huge emphasis on the ‘moan’ in our case) are creatures of habit. And interfering with our routine is never a welcome thing. So you can imagine our sense of loss and confusion when we found we had to wait until the Sunday to […]

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Dirt on the Bishop’s Finger

Ah, fourth round qualifying day, the time where you believe you’re only ninety minutes away from a plumper of a first round tie. Alas, once again we won’t be taking part in this year’s festivities as we slumped out in the round previously. Still its been many years that we’ve put a Cup & Trophy […]

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I Was There When Bignall Scored

Jack and Jill went up the Hill, To have some hanky-panky, silly Jill forgot her pill, And now there’s little Frankie. I’m here all week folks! A man once said “a week is a long time in football”, personally I think that a week is the same time in any walk of life but this […]

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Sod all at the end of the Rainbow

We’ve had a few bad days in the FA Cup over the years. Yeading away in the mid-80’s when arguably one of the best Sutton sides ever self destructed and lost 4-1 to a Spartan League side. Then in more recent memory, there’s the defeat to Alton Towers Town at GGL being amongst the worst. […]

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Al Capone’s Fags

Another birthday recently came and went taking me just a few years away from the day when I am able to negotiate concessionary entrance with MarkN , the desert-booted guardian of turnstile A and custodian of the guitars when I have a gig straight after a home fixture.  In fact I still have the unrequited […]

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Ceausescu Wasn’t There

Finally, the magic that is the second most important cup (after the Surrey Senior!) to us has started for the season that will forever be known as 2014/15. I do love the cup competitions because you get a chance to not worry about the ups & downs of the league for a change and sometimes you get […]

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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

A woman sends her clothing to the dry cleaners. When it comes back, there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the cleaner: ‘Use more soap on panties’. This goes on for several weeks, with the woman sending the same note to the dry cleaners. Finally the cleaner […]

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From Lithuania with Love (I sold my soul) – Drinking Abroad

Having witnessed history with Gibraltar’s first ever competitive match, the gang now find themselves in the car park of the Estadio Algarve. It’s 40km to Albufeira, they’ve got almost a full tank of gas, several packs of cigarettes, it’s dark and some of them are wearing sunglasses. Hit it Juan. With the game we came […]

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What Did Marcus Say?

A tourist is in Sutton one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon. “Well,” replies the man, “The Sutton United ground is very close but they’re playing away today. If […]

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