Ooooh Look. A draw.

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 468 SUTTON UNITED – 1  [Hodson 88] SLOUGH TOWN – 1  [Deaner 30] Yeah, our not-so-conquering heroes did it again. Another point gained when it really should have been 3. Thankfully though this performance was a big improvement on the miserable shite dished up against Hampton, Casuals Gravesend (do I need […]

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Come On You U’szzzzzzzzz…

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 503 SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Forrester 40. Thompson 90] PURFLEET – 2  [Coombs 4. Georgiou 44] So, whats next after getting dumped out of the league cup by a bunch of Amateurs?? Ahh, yes, a visit from an agricultural Essex side. Lovely, can’t wait. And just 3 days after that pile […]

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Casual? That’s One Word For It…

RYMAN LEAGUE CUP 1st ROUND Att: 166 CORINTHIAN CASUALS – 1  [Watney 70] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Another word you could use would be “Shite”. Most likely preceded by “A complete load of fucking gutless…” What could be better to boost the flagging confidence of your currently underachieving footy team than a mickey mouse cup […]

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Same Shit, Different Day

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 499 GRAVESEND & NORTHFLEET – 2  [Hegley 80. Booth 84] SUTTON UNITED – 2  [OG 29. Nartey 79] What is it with this place in bloody Kent?? Every time we come here, we play like utter wankers, performing like we’ve never even seen a football, let alone kicked one before. Christ, […]

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Pesky Rodents

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 564 SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Bolt 33.78] HAMPTON & RICHMOND BORO – 2  [Williams 42. Simpson 87] Look, I don’t care what you say, they just are ok. Rodents with big squashed tails. Well, another home game and 2 more points squandered by a U’s side that distinctly looks like it’s […]

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Sorry! We Didn’t Go!

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 302 GRAYS ATHLETIC – 1  [Hazel 8] SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Nartey 65. Sears 81] Sorry folks, Taz was in Paris for the England game. So was Bob. Chalmers, who was also meant to be going, unfortunately ended up in St Helier hospital on Wednesday afternoon with a nasty stomach complaint. […]

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Somebody Call The Police!

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 370 HENDON – 0 SUTTON UNITED – 1  [Ekoku 90] Considering that Hendon is the home of the Metropolitan Police’s ‘training college’, then the Sutton team should think themselves lucky they didn’t find the local plod feeling their collective collar for commiting a rather nasty bank holiday mugging in nearby Cricklewood. […]

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Identity Crisis

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 652 SUTTON UNITED – 0      CANVEY ISLAND – 1 [Vaughan 47] Ah you bastards. After the flowing football of Tuesday night, we thought that an entertaining &  competitive game might possibly also ensue today. But sadly we were wrong. It was the second rate 5-3-2/3-5-2 ‘scared of our opponents/un-adventurous’ […]

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Bolt Out Of The Blue

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 645 SUTTON UNITED – 2    Bolt (17) Salako (78) BASINGSTOKE TOWN – 0    I’m back!! Yep ol’ Taz has resumed match reporting duties having missed the Mighty U’s 1-1 opening day draw at Aldershot whilst shopping with the missus in Grimsby. How can you tell?? Well, the fucking report […]

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First Shot Fired

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 2547 ALDERSHOT TOWN – 1  [Protheroe 23] SUTTON UNITED – 1  [Salako 76] At last! Stand in reporter, Mr Chalmers has finally delivered his report for Saturday’ game. Not bad, only the FOUR days late!!! This had better be good Paul… Apologies for the delay in getting this reports out, the […]

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