Auld Enemy, Modern Football

Long ago, I used to be proper mad for England internationals. So mad in fact, that we hardy Sutton idiots were to be found at Wembley watching utter shite like the friendly with Chile in 1989 where the grand old national stadium could be found with under 16,000 rattling around for a 0-0 draw. Well, […]

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Got Nil-Nil Written All Over It

So it’s FA Cup First Round day! Time to dust off the old Amber & Chocolate rosette, grab you wooden clacker and hoist the second biggest tin-foil cup you own (the biggest one obviously being your tin-foil Surrey Senior Cup) high above you head. After the defeat of the Vegans & Vegetarians in the round […]

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The Duke of York

The time was around two o’clock, or was it one o’clock? Maybe it was two o’clock/one o’clock? Something like that. Anyway doesn’t matter what time it was. All that mattered was what was happening right in front of me, The Firm Leader was engaging in doing his interpretation of 1996’s Los Del Rio’s Macerena with […]

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The Giraffe, the Pelly & Emily

Hello Gandermonium readers and welcome to another blog from Robbo for the home fixture against Maidstone United.  For literacy bods you may notice the title of this blog as being one of Roald Dahl’s works and as a child I loved reading his books – Charlie Bucket what a hero! However, as Taz pointed out […]

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A Pub Crawl with Betty Ford

There was a quiet murmur in the room, the smell of anticipation was everywhere. Some of the lads were up at the front, their expectation like that of school kids waiting for the tuck shop to open. Others that were more experienced in these situations had more of a look of mild disappointment that comes […]

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Come On Everybody!

We’re always moaning, amongst other things, about the draws the FA decide to lumber us with in their competitions. The reasons for this are simple. We’re miserable bastards and the FA keep making us go to Hemel fucking Hempstead. Thankfully however, this year they’ve been way more generous. Our reward for entering at the last […]

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Dos 500 Dukey 498

Greetings fellow readers, first things first Tuesday was not only another away game loss to Dover Athletic but it was also yours truly’s birthday – some good guesses on how old I really am have been made, some not so good! Although I am sure the world and his wife could clearly see how over […]

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The Fotze, The Fica & The Fitta

The second midweek away trip of the season is now upon us as we have a little cruise to Kent to contend with. This obviously means that it’s a quick in and out job like you get with the neighbour’s wife. And as most people know, we’ve to make this trip without the recently departed […]

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A Blessing In Dis-Guiseley…

Having had a somewhat hectic start to our Conference return, I was finally forced to accept financial defeat and give Eastleigh away a big old empty wallet style swerve. Not that I was that upset, mostly as it’s a place where our record is almost Hornchurch-esque and we rarely even score let alone get 3 […]

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Denys, Denise, Der Knees

Jesus, how long has it been since we’ve seen Sutton win away? A quick look back at the records show that it was in fact bloody Lincoln back in the middle of August. And that was also the last time we managed to stick the ball back into the back of the net away from […]

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