A tourist is in Sutton one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon. “Well,” replies the man, “The Sutton United ground is very close but they’re playing away today. If […]
It’s the Minnows from the Rock! – Football Abroad
Shut up shut up SHUT UP! I don’t have the best relationship with my alarm clock as it is to be honest, but when the little cuboid bastard is waking me up at 5am on a Sunday morning with his shrill electronic banshee howl, my dislike for him reaches even greater hammer attack inducing levels. […]
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The Wrong Bookend
With a puff of smoke, the wheels of our plane land at Gatwick. The time is half past two, twenty minutes later than expected. For the past two days we’ve away doing what the Gandermonium Firm does best. But we won’t be discussing any of that little trip here, we’ll be leaving that little ditty for another […]
How do you follow that?
“Good morning, I’m from Sutton United Football Club.” That’s my new calling card as I signed up for accordion virtuoso AB’s roving sales force for the club and took to the streets of The People’s Republic of West Sutton on Thursday on my trusty old bike to distribute propaganda on behalf of the Great Leader […]
Commit No Nuisance
Its Sunday morning. In fact its half past fuckin’ six on a Sunday morning. And where am I? East Croydon. I walk past MacDonald’s and there is this fella spread-eagled in front of the door, snoring away to his heart’s content. People are stepping over him to get inside the place, how could someone get […]
Rain Rain Go Away…
Have you ever been kicked in the bollocks? Have you ever fallen off your bike and smashed your crown jewels on the handle bars as you went over? Have you ever had a football fired at your knackers at 90 mph, and it’s smashed you so hard you fall to the ground in agony and […]
It’s All Banter-ish
Yeah that’s right banter, bants, or even top b. Just some of the words that are used to describe some of the drivel that emits from our north & south every match. The things we say to each other on a daily basis would be on a totally different playing field to some of the messages that […]
Just Wandering…..
What’s that I hear you mutter, no game? No bloody game. Oh and why is that, yeah Salisbury. What a farce, beyond words. So at the expensive of another club that get booted out of the league after the actual fixtures are released is beyond a joke. Today was of course the day that we […]
Angry Goalkeeper
Time check-5 pm:- Time to leave work and give it legs to the train station to make the next available train back into Sutton. Sweating like Oscar Pistorius waiting on the verdict at his murder trial I make the change at Sutton, and head back into the wilderness, no phone signal area of Banstead. The […]
The Long and Winding Road
The day began with the usual stomp towards the station on a overcast Saturday morning. There was time for me to get some dollar out and grab a can of the old doctor before hitting up the ticket man for a one day travel card (£5.90 with a railcard). To my surprise I was not just met […]