With Gandermonium now playing with an all-out, four man attack it fell on my shoulders to cover the historic match officially opening the new Fred Gee pitch installed over the summer at Gander Green Lane and with a bumper crowd in on a drizzly night against a Croydon Posers XI. Welcome to the Glaziers…. Living […]
Tag: Bornatotter
Cliff’s Summer Holiday
When Blues legend Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil at the crossroads he could have saved himself all that hassle of dealing with Old Nick and just headed straight to Borehamwood – a place so relentlessly soulless it makes Hackbridge feel like Rio when the Carnival is in town. So, when the call […]
Stupid Cupid
Valentines morning in the Totter household. “Do you fancy going to Sutton United this afternoon sweetheart?” Mrs Totts; “Er, why?.” “Because its free for the ladies, and you’re worth it.” Mrs Totts; “Fuck right off.” Who said romance was dead? After a brief and pointless conversation with militant feminist daughter number 2 about whether Sutton’s […]
Extraordinary Rendition
Its 12.15pm on Boxing Day and I am stationery on the M25 wondering just what the fuck has gone wrong with my life. Why I chose to go to Ruislip where Wealdstone play via the London Orbital motorway is down to one thing and one thing only, the voices in my head. They haven’t quite […]
Deja Groundhog Day Vu
When some Herbert sends you a message on a Friday morning asking if you’d fancy doing the match day blog think long and hard before you reply. If you don’t then you too may end up opening a bottle of brandy at 9am on a Sunday morning, staring at a blank sheet of paper and […]
Al Capone’s Fags
Another birthday recently came and went taking me just a few years away from the day when I am able to negotiate concessionary entrance with MarkN , the desert-booted guardian of turnstile A and custodian of the guitars when I have a gig straight after a home fixture. In fact I still have the unrequited […]
How do you follow that?
“Good morning, I’m from Sutton United Football Club.” That’s my new calling card as I signed up for accordion virtuoso AB’s roving sales force for the club and took to the streets of The People’s Republic of West Sutton on Thursday on my trusty old bike to distribute propaganda on behalf of the Great Leader […]
Idi Amin & the Politburo
The old PSF’s have taken their toll on the central committee at Gandermonium as we drag our arses towards the start line for the coming season and as a result the call came through to Totter Towers and the challenge of doing up the Aldershot game was readily accepted. To be honest, I was delighted […]
An Estate Agent’s Mocha Suit
Getting the nod to knock out my first home match report for Gandermonium was a proud moment as you would expect and required some proper and professional preparation and so I went out on an all day leaving do bender in Central London on Friday and woke up Saturday morning hanging by the slenderest of […]
Bursting the Farneybubble
Farnborough. Say it quietly and keep it yourself but I’m going to tell you something. I fucking hate Farnborough. That I suspect is why I am writing this report with a clear head, early on a Sunday morning when your usual correspondents would still be jammed under the duvet while the room spins around their […]