“Never leave a man behind, unless it is mutually inconvenient to the rest of the group” These are the words that the Gandermonium Firm hold dear to. In fact they are the only words that we actually adhere to. Maybe it would look better if it was in Latin? “Numquam a tergo reliquissent , nisi […]
Tag: Conference South
Deja Groundhog Day Vu
When some Herbert sends you a message on a Friday morning asking if you’d fancy doing the match day blog think long and hard before you reply. If you don’t then you too may end up opening a bottle of brandy at 9am on a Sunday morning, staring at a blank sheet of paper and […]
Chaka Demus Wang & Pliers McAndrew
Another week, another point and another performance that is just missing that little je ne sais quoi. Or some other sort of poncy French saying. We may be four games now undefeated but we are still middle of the table with a goal difference of zilch. But today it was our job to entertain those […]
Where is Mein Handy?
I don’t know how some of those Division One supporters do it, as going to a match on the Lords day is a very strange experience. It probably didn’t help getting right on it after watching the Reserves up at Ice Station Banstead the day before. Some of that trip will no doubt be revealed in […]
Dirt on the Bishop’s Finger
Ah, fourth round qualifying day, the time where you believe you’re only ninety minutes away from a plumper of a first round tie. Alas, once again we won’t be taking part in this year’s festivities as we slumped out in the round previously. Still its been many years that we’ve put a Cup & Trophy […]
I Was There When Bignall Scored
Jack and Jill went up the Hill, To have some hanky-panky, silly Jill forgot her pill, And now there’s little Frankie. I’m here all week folks! A man once said “a week is a long time in football”, personally I think that a week is the same time in any walk of life but this […]
Al Capone’s Fags
Another birthday recently came and went taking me just a few years away from the day when I am able to negotiate concessionary entrance with MarkN , the desert-booted guardian of turnstile A and custodian of the guitars when I have a gig straight after a home fixture. In fact I still have the unrequited […]
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
A woman sends her clothing to the dry cleaners. When it comes back, there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the cleaner: ‘Use more soap on panties’. This goes on for several weeks, with the woman sending the same note to the dry cleaners. Finally the cleaner […]
What Did Marcus Say?
A tourist is in Sutton one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon. “Well,” replies the man, “The Sutton United ground is very close but they’re playing away today. If […]
The Wrong Bookend
With a puff of smoke, the wheels of our plane land at Gatwick. The time is half past two, twenty minutes later than expected. For the past two days we’ve away doing what the Gandermonium Firm does best. But we won’t be discussing any of that little trip here, we’ll be leaving that little ditty for another […]