I went to the doctor the other day and he said he was worried about how much alcohol I was consuming. He asked me how many units of booze I had consumed this week and after I told him ’21’, he told me 28 was the maximum and that I’m fine after all. Guess it […]
Tag: Season 2014/2015
Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?
Hello punters, me again. Today’s nonsense was supposed to be brought to you by our resident king of Ska Punk, Totts. Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances, mainly me being a dickhead and forgetting to tell him he was on duty, you’re stuck with my bright & breezy manner for the second game running. And given […]
Is It May Yet?
Isn’t it funny how when the fixtures first come out that you look for the good aways, the shite midweeks and then pick out games that you imagine will play a huge part in that ultimately successful season you’re definitely just about to have. You know, those big top of the table 6 pointers. Tonight’s […]
What in God’s Name is Floccinaucinihilipilification?
Me & Technology don’t always see eye to eye. In fact I think that sometimes it has a laugh and pokes fun at me. Take this fackin’ mobile doobry whatsit. Recently it decided to update its self and download a new piece of operating software. Within it, was Nokia’s answer to Apple’s ‘Siri’, called Cortana. And […]
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I’m Not Getting a Prince Albert!
You can never quite tell where some of the bullshit that emits from our mouths actually originates. Most of the Firm would no doubt blame me for it and they are probably right to a certain degree. So, how did we ended up in the Donna Rachele discussing Prince Albert piercings on the trip back from Gosport? […]
Stupid Cupid
Valentines morning in the Totter household. “Do you fancy going to Sutton United this afternoon sweetheart?” Mrs Totts; “Er, why?.” “Because its free for the ladies, and you’re worth it.” Mrs Totts; “Fuck right off.” Who said romance was dead? After a brief and pointless conversation with militant feminist daughter number 2 about whether Sutton’s […]
Going Krazy in Katzenjammers
It was only meant to be a simple trip to Essex. Get in, get out and be home for tea. But, like most Gandermonium trips, it didn’t quite go as planned. You all know what we can be like and the things that we get up to but on this trip we took it to […]
Bad Irish Whiskey
Amazing the difference a couple of weeks makes. The last time I got to scribble stuff and bore you all to death, it was for the Merstham Surrey Cup game. Which if you were there or merely read my well balanced, quality reportage on it, you’d know didn’t quite go as planned. In the same […]
The Consistently Inconsistent Referee
There are some people that would say that your football luck averages itself out over a season. They claim to some sort of Kismet or Fate that plays its hand over time. Well I don’t give two shits about all that bollocks and things never truly even up. You just have to roll with the punches […]
A Pocketful of Pepper
This blog is being sponsored by the National Black Pepper Appreciation Society in conjunction with the Association of Black Pepper Consumers. Some have said that Black Pepper is a kind of addiction for me and to be honest it probably is! For some reason I ended up at the end of the night with not […]