RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION
Att: 148
FORD UNITED – 2 [Allen 53. Poole p88]
SUTTON UNITED – 4 [Bailey 17.77 J-Nurse 56. Gray 87]
Match Reporter: Chalmers
With Dan missing this game with some feeble excuse about some work piss up in Central London (yes, that place twenty minutes away on the tube!!) I get free reign to go on about a load of gobbledegook for a paragraph or two once more.
We’re brimming with confidence on the back of a five game winning run and are expecting to taste victory in every game we play in at the moment, I’m so confident I’m putting my money where my mouth is by backing us in a few games. Windy is seriously addicted, but obviously winning a nice few quid!
The Motormen aren’t on a bad bit of form at the moment, unbeaten in there last seven, so this is anything but plain sailing down at the Oakside.
With the national this weekend – Just like it was with the corresponding fixture last season, great game with us pipping the Motormen 4-3 with a couple of strikes from Bailey and one a piece for Gray and Bolty. My strongest memory is missing three of the goals and picking the first two out in the big race! – I’m in my element, losing money left, right and centre though on sweepstakes or too any old joe bookmaker who’ll have my money off me.
Things started to damn early in the day for me as I had to work, so nursing a hangover, hearing Big Ben going hell for leather in my lug holes first thing didn’t help. I rolled up for a quick pint just after twelve in Liverpool Street, all on my lonesome, apart from 500 odd Chelsea, Spurs and Huddersfield fans, watching the Arsenal – Man United match. Then jump on the central line for the shortish hop to Barkingside.
Windy and Greek turn up in perfect time just as I’m finishing my pint and as Windy’s driving (that’s a lift home sorted then) me and NTG neck a couple more pints before kick off.
We start with the same side as Tuesday, Chris Nurse playing his last match before his suspension takes effect.
It’s a slow start to the game, you can see our confidence though in the way we are knocking the ball about, even though we’re not particularly getting anywhere with it.
Four pints before the game start catching up with me so I head off for a leak half expecting to miss something after last years exploits, true to form I hear a cheer as I’m out of eyeshot of the action. RATS COCKS!!! Apparently John O’Sullivan for the home side couldn’t decide whether to head or kick the ball clear from a ball in, he knocks it straight to Mr Bailey who brought the ball down nicely, turns outside the defender and blasts it into the back of the net. WOOHOO! 15 mins gone and we’re one up, all’s good.
Ford are your typical Essex side, every side from this part of the world seems to have a couple of big lumps who want to knock you about and I’ve noticed they all seem to have a little bloke as well who looks like his mum has let him out too play cos he’s been a good boy all week and done all his homework!
Can you tell I’m trying to fill the page a little??? Hehe. The only other chance we had was from young Bernard, chesting the ball down, beating his man, but not really working the keeper with a tame shot. He also manages to get booked later in the half, I presume for kicking the ball towards goal just as the ignoramus of a ref blows up for a foul, unbelievable decision, momentum came into play and there was nothing Jon could do but accept it, who says refereeing at this level is poor. Ed???
Overall a nothing special first half, good pressure from the yellow men, we were never really
seriously troubled by the home side. Could be described as a workmanlike performance. After being the subject of last week’s half time entertainment with my penalty taking skills *cough cough*, I leave it this week to forty horses with my dreams of pound signs in my eyes.
We hit the bar and knock back 1 or 3 southern’s whilst catching the National and watching my horse get beat on the run in cos he tried going the wrong way. Fucking three legged donkey!
We’re out a few minutes late for the second half to see Honey blaze one over the bar, admittedly with a deflection after a good run from Fowler. Some early pressure from Ford’s results in an equaliser in the 53rd minute Poole had a strike that came off of Patsy I think, coming out to Allen who blasted the ball into the back off the net. 1-1.
The strike doesn’t deflate us at all which is good to see from a young side. Gray shoots over the bar followed soon after by us retaking the lead in the 56th minute, Jon Nurse slotting the ball home from the edge of the box, following on from a Fowler strike touched on by Bailey that the keeper fumbled. 2-1. Matty Gray is the key to most of our attacking play, linking up well with Chris Nurse and Honey to create chances only for Nurse to get the ball nabbed off of him and Gray to shoot wide.
The home side are unlucky when sub Murray, one of our former players has a goal ruled out for handball.
I’m trying to give as honest an account of the game here, describe things as best I can, but when your staring at the wall in the gents lav it proves to be nigh on impossible, NTG informs me Bailey and Honey exchanged passes, Bailey shoots about 8 yards out, going past the post, but with the aid of a nice little deflection from Chandler nestles the ball nestles in the back of the net. Everyone is elated no doubt, except me whos none the wiser to what’s going on! About a quarter of an hour to go and looking good for a sixth successive win.
Last couple of minutes to go and the home defence looking a bit ragged the last thing they need is Jon Nurse as relentless as ever, he receives the ball down a channel on the right from Gray, his cross is only half cleared landing perfectly at Gray’s feet in acres of space, he takes a touch, and drills a fine angled drive past the keeper into the far corner. 4-1. Goodnight Vienna, thanks for coming etc etc.
Having taken a note of Matt’s goal because of my emmenthal memory I look up to see a Ford player running back down the pitch with the ball in his hand. I was so engrossed In my superlatives about our strike seconds earlier I knew nothing of the home sides second, a penalty scored by Poole, allegedly for a handball. I’m sure there wasn’t a cheer to be heard when they one said penalty, nor when the ball hit the net, nor from the troupe I was standing alongside. I know they don’t have much of a support but that was ridiculous! I look towards Kevin for some help but no one seemed to sure what was going on either, why the penalty was given etc. Did I dream they scored that penalty in some alcohol fuelled dream or did I miss three goals for the second year running down here? The whistle blew for full time shortly afterwards with me happy with our 2-1 victory, virtually everyone else seeing a good game of football with us coming out 4-2 victors.
I think we had 11 players playing as one today, working hard together, a good overall team performance. Bring on the K’s. Can’t wait, Who do we play after that?
We amble to the bar to get some scores. Whilst Windy nurses a pint me and the Greek bloke attack the southern’s again, knocking back seven more a piece and head home feeling pretty happy.
The trouble with when you stop drinking is tiredness sets in. We had the best laid plans to meet up later in the evening, no I didn’t make it having been up at six I managed to sleep through most of Saturday night.
Having been trying to doze off again for a few hours at about half three, I started writing this report!
Should at least set a record for getting online in the shortest time! (What do you want, a fucking medal? – Taz)
MAN OF THE MATCH : Matt Gray. Got everywhere & involved in everything.
ENTERTAINMENT : 7.5 Just to be awkward! Good team performance.
Team: Iga, Gray, Akuamoah, Palmer, Jinadu, Bailey, Quinton, Honey, Fowler, C Nurse, J Nurse.
Subs: Boosey, Neilsen, Hamlin
THE REFEREE’S………Chalmers didn’t bother. Lazy Tosser!