Don’t worry yourselves too much, I’m not going to include a Bon Jovi You tube link in this weeks right up, so don’t worry, normal service is resumed! It was just the best title I could think of following today’s game….
So as I sit here on a Saturday evening looking for inspiration following an absolute catastrophic week for me (I’ll get to the nitty gritty shortly) I turn to a bit of AC/DC for inspiration!
 |
| Welcome to Wok….oh hang on…. |
Well the week was going ever so perfectly for ‘ol Juan until I decided on Thursday night to sharpen up my look a tad, and get my ears lowered via the trusty barbers along Nork Way, Banstead. So me being the cocky twat that I am at times. Rolled up the road on me £1400 quids worth of Boardman Bike to participate in the hair cutting procedure, which took approx 15 Min’s to get the latest look, straight out of Essex! Only for after paying the man, the finest £15 quid for the honour-I left the shop to find some toe-rag (actual language used when theft occurred-was slightly more potty mouthed) had made off with my fine piece of machinery! So old Juan gave chase down the road, only to see his beloved bike go off into the sunset. So in all my new straight outta Essex Haircut cost, me a total of £1415 quid there or thereabouts! So yeah I’ve only got myself to blame……yes I’m a twat, no in fact I’m worse than that, I’m a huge twat!!
I won’t mention the latest Kidney stone update either, as that’s just an N.H.S nightmare that keeps re-occurring on a nightly basis. Plus lets face it I’m bored with it, and we’ll it’s more than likely you are bored of it too! Right enough of this old crap, lets get down to the what you came here to read about then, shall we!
So following on From Duke’s epic write up on the midweek fixture, it was time for Juan to do the next game. Hayes & Yeading away-( after a meeting at Gandermonium HQ, it has been decided that Duke will be covering the future away games)
 |
| So, we’re not Telford then? |
So as you all know, us Gandermoniums love an away game, especially when it’s a ground share jobbie!
A quick fly down the A3 for this one, as you are all aware, The mighty Hayes & Yeading currently play at Woking’s gaff! So after having a swift Fosters in the Club House it was time to turn my attention to the game.
Line up as follows:-
Lovelock, Stuart, Rents, Folkes, Downer, Sinclair, Rivs, Ottoway, Dundo, Beauts & Marv.
On the bench :-
Jordan, Leroy, Benjamin, Telfer & Scrivs.
Game Action
In the first 5 minutes or so, we seemed to struggle some what to get hold of the ball, and get it down, and play it. To be fair I could see the problem from the off as to why! Woking’s pitch could only be described as poor, the pitch looked more like a swampy pitch in places, especially in the middle of the park. Every time the ball was being knocked around the state of the pitch was slowing the ball to an almost complete stop at times!
So we did as best we could given the mess we were playing on, knocking the ball up to Harry Ottoway, who was taken out by the Hayes number 6, but yet again the men in black let us, and neither the ref nor the lino saw it!
Following Harry being taken out we were struggling at times to get the game plan together-a hard surface to put our game play together. The normal pass and move triangular shape just wouldn’t work on this surface. Hayes had seemingly watched us, and our game type, by exposing a weakness down our right channel by allowing them to stick a cross in-and us failing to put a boot through the ball-leading to a shot on goal from Hayes. The playing surface was clearly make life difficult for us, and zapping the energy out of us.
Still we pressed on the gas , and started to up our game. Folkes covering for Boats (suspended for one game due seeing red at Chelmsford) making a run up the right flank and sticking a ball into the box, the ball clearing past two Hayes defenders to find Ottoway in the box. The ball rebounding off from Ottoway, for Dundo to wind back the dial to strike, only for the ball to go out for a goal kick. The strike lacking in real power.
Further pressing play from Sutton led to a number of Rents corners. The first placed in into the box for Ottoway to have an opportunity, only to put his attempt on goal wide.
The second one was delivered into towards Stuart, and as the ball hit the deck, it was stuck at Stuarts feet, and he had no time to position himself over the ball in the correct fashion to get a shot away.
We then lost our concentration for a few minutes, allowing Hayes to come down the right channel to again expose this weak spot we seem to currently have. Allowing Hayes to cross the ball into the box, and the first clearance from Sutton was put straight into the path of the attacking forward on the left who placed the ball in the back of the net-but was ruled out for an offside decision. Well that was certainly a wake up call of sorts.
 |
| Feel the excitement. Smell the mud…. |
So after the wake up call, we started to keep hold of the ball more, in the middle of the swampy pitch. Rivs picking up the ball , who swung the ball out left to Beauts. Beauts making an attacking run down the right, and sticking the ball into the box-but too close to the keeper, and easily collected by the keeper, and re-distributed back to Hayes.
More attacking play from Sutton allowing Dundo to squeeze a shot off on goal, but again lacking any real pace behind the ball. Dundo again playing in the hole position combining with Ottoway upfront. Dundo loving this pitch today, really making his strength known to Hayes back four. A few little cheeky one-two passes between Dundo and Ottoway. Dundo holding the ball up well at his feet-and given the poor quality of today’s playing surface, I think he deserves credit for the work rate he put in today.
Again Marv was bought down outside the box, leading to what I would have presumed a Rents delivery into the box. Instead Beauts trys his luck with this one, eyeing up a shot on goal, a little underpowered, and easily collected by the Hayes keeper.
Really and truly we had stepped up the game, and we were knocking on the door, but the final ball/finish was lacking it was time for us to try and step things up a little. A huge smash out from Lovelock, was going in the path of Ottoway, who flipped the ball off the top of his head onto Marv, making his run into the direction of the knocked on ball, only for him to be denied by the lack of quality in the pitch, preventing him for putting the burners on to latch onto the ball.
Following some nice movement and shorter passes from Sutton, Marv was bought down about 10 yards from the edge of the box. An opportunity again arose for Rents to drop one into the box, but instead played the ball short to Beauts. Beauts then crossed the ball in from the right channel after beating his man, only for the cross to miss every man in a white shirt. I lost count of the number of crosses we put in the first half, some good, some… well not as good!
 |
| Dave gets the impression he needs to change his deodorant… |
So during the half time interval, it was time for me to reflect on two things. Firstly, lets have a look at Wokings ground. Not bad really I suppose, nice little clubhouse, a few of the famous High street beers on tap! A bit slack on the cider front though mind you! So lets have a look at the panoramic view of the ground, a look to the left ahhh yes a very quaint ground, the typical non-league effort. Then we turn to the right, and oh my lord some premiership club, has only gone and lost part of their stand! Don’t worry chaps I’ve found it for you. It’s OK though, we’ll let Woking borrow it from you for a while! But if you need it back anytime soon its not a problem!!We’ll even let you have the “one Hayes” supporter too!
During the half-time interval. I also had time to squeeze in a little looksie at the programme. Not bad for £2.50. A nice centre fold layout, and it’s in colour too!
 |
| Pwetty pictures! |
So, onto the second half we go. So we started from where we left off for a short spell, a nice bit of attacking play from Folkes down the right channel, (using his cheeky ability and skills from the Glen Hoddle Training Academy), sneaks in a little cross into the box, for again the ball to be cleared away.
Further play from Sutton sees the ball cleared away on the left to give us yet again a further corner on the left-swung in by Rents. The delivery is rather long to say the least, and misses every Sutton shirt waiting in the box. For some reason or another rents seemed really off his game today, and if I’m honest I feel slightly let down by that! Still, a great ball from Dundo in the middle of the park finds Beauts out on the right flank (Beauts completely unmarked) drives the ball down the channel, looks up, but can’t make his mind up as to shoot , or to place the ball into the box. Beauts decides on the latter, should have gone the first choice as the cross is cleared away without too much panic or worry.
The attacking play from Sutton just isn’t going our way today-we seemed to lack the finish, and look a little indecisive at times, when creating the opportunities going forward.
We start looking weary and tired, clearly the pitch is starting to zap all the energy from us. At this stage of the game the pitch really is looking like a Sunday League setup, or the kind of pitch you might find down your local park!
A good delivery down the left channel, and impressive run from Marv (not his most effective game today-but still good energy) down the left , clearly hand balled by the Hayes right back-again missed by the lino and the ref. Well, you could tell we weren’t going to get sod all from the officials today, that’s for sure!
Dundo again, running his boots off, and turning and twisting his way into the box, plays the ball off to Sinclair, the ball slightly behind him and slightly out of reach, again allows Hayes to build the play up from the midfield and this time stretch us out down the left.
 |
| 12 quid. Not a bargain…. |
Again, Beauts and Faux linking up well together down the right channel, a cheeky little one-two, rather neat at times. Beauts beating his man, and again bought down by a late challenge, just outside the box. Rents again steps up for this one, you’d of thought it would have been one of his trademark delivery’s into the box. But this time we witnessed one of his poorest of the day, a low slung in cross along the deck, which pretty much summed up the day out to Hayes!
Nothing more to report really, apart from it’s been a pony week for Juan, and well it didn’t get much better today!
So it finished 0-0….sigh!
So a few of the lads are off to this Madness tribute act tonight! I’m sure a few of them will end up in one of the boozers in Sutton High street this evening.
Well the next away game will be covered by Duke, so keep your eyes peeled for that one!! All drinking shenanigans and events will be back to normal service. Oh and if you haven’t yet checked out the ‘why we bother’ section, take a look, there’s some great one-liners in there!
Still, keep the faith…..true faith.
That’s all from Juan……..for now!
Karma # 101